2160. Dentures
© Bruce Goodman 20 June 2021




It was strange. The dentist’s business had been broken into eighteen times and yet nothing had been taken. Nothing, it appeared, had been touched.

The video showed each time a person wearing a loose black kaftan-styled garment with an unattached black cloth covering the head. The figure would head to where the dentist kept any dentures that needed adjusting or fixing. It was impossible to see what was going on but it appeared that no dentures had gone missing in any of the break-ins. There were no signs of anything having been tampered with.

It was only after this had happened ten or eleven times that a highly specialized forensic scientist was called in. Such scientists charge the earth, and there wasn’t a murder or any serious consequences that called for someone so expensive to investigate. However it had happened far too often and the mystery had to be somehow solved.

It took the scientist quite a time to discover anything and by then there had been further break-ins, and not just at this dentist’s facilities. Other dentists had reported similar goings-on. In one of the dentures, only one, the scientist found the tiniest implanted microphone.

By now the owner of the dentures with the implant was crying out: Where are my teeth? I am sick of eating soup.

“You’re a typical silly old lady,” said the scientist. “I sent everyone a message. Check your email or your phone.”

“I’m not on email,” said the silly old lady, “and I don’t have a phone.”

Ah! Mystery solved! Further investigation revealed that only those without email or mobile phones had their dentures implanted with a microphone. China had demanded that everyone be follow-able. Google was desperate not to lose the contract.

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