2159. Slugs
© Bruce Goodman 19 June 2021

When Leanna flushed her recently departed husband’s medication down the toilet, little did she realize the consequences.

Randolph had been on eleven pills in the morning and five in the evening. Leanna had read somewhere that leftover pills should be returned to the pharmacy for destruction, but post-funeral tidy-ups are busy times so she simply flushed the pills down the toilet.

The combination of chemicals had a remarkable effect on some of the bugs living in the sewer. It took a while, but one day two gigantic slugs slithered their way up the porcelain toilet bowl and began devouring the wooden seat. The slithery slugs were at least two feet long. Veronica had opened the bathroom door, screamed, and slammed the door shut.

The slugs (by now there were a whole family perhaps twenty or thirty) began to eat the wooden bathroom door. Three slugs flattened themselves out and slithered under the door. Instantly they began to devour the passageway carpet.

Leanna was practical. She got an aerosol can of fly spray that she kept under the kitchen sink. Daring to approach one of the carpet-eating slugs, she sprayed so that white foam covered the entire slug. It squirmed about a bit and died. Instantly two slugs began devouring the dead slug. They seemed to grow several inches. They loved it!

By now there was a substantial hole in the bathroom door. Forty or fifty slugs slithered into the passage way and slimed their way in all directions through the house. Leanna phoned emergency services. A snake is one thing. Rats another. But giant slugs? Yeah, right. Don’t both us again lady.

No one came to help. No one, no one, no one. Leanna got in her car and drove the fourteen miles to her sister’s place. She did not know that two slugs had already lodged themselves beneath her car.

Over time the slugs spread. They have learnt to be more deceptive. They hide beneath all sorts of things. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a whole family is living under your bed.

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