587. All in vane
© Bruce Goodman 20 May 2015

Algernon had this brilliant idea of putting a weather vane on the topmost gable of his three-story house. In fact, he’d been given a weather vane for Christmas and this was the perfect place for it.

Algernon’s wife was Metta. She longed for a divorce, and the weather vane gift was part of her plan.

“We won’t be able to see the direction of the wind without going outside and looking up. Put it on the roof of the garden shed. Then we can see it from the lounge.” Metta knew that he would disagree, and this statement by her was meant to reinforce Algernon’s determination to place the weather vane on the topmost gable of his three-story house.

Was Metta hoping he would fall perhaps, and break his neck so she could run off with lover Roland? We shall see.

Algernon got a huge ladder and climbed up one, two three stories. He nailed the weather vane to the topmost gable. There! All he need do now was to set north to point north and south to south. He needed a compass.

He was about to climb down the ladder. Metta removed it. Algernon was stuck three stories up.

As Metta backed away balancing the huge ladder, she tripped on some boulders in the garden that had hitherto not been there. She fell backwards with the ladder on top of her.

Algernon climbed down the spare ladder he’d placed on the other side of the house. He phoned Roland.

“She’s all yours,” said Algernon as he drove off in his Mercedes.

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