287. Lovely Rita
© Bruce Goodman 24 July 2014

Lovely Rita, meter maid. She’d go around writing out parking tickets for people. Everyone hated her guts. She wouldn’t take any excuse people gave, even if the excuse was legitimate.

Word had it that once in the hospital car park she gave a ticket to a man having a heart attack. Apparently that just about finished him off.

Physically however, she was a picture, which is why she was called “lovely”. She was sort of like the first Kodak Poster Pinup Girl, but kind of nicer. Like that model on the poster for L&M Filter Tip Cigarettes. Or the woman on the red car selling Philips Autoradios. You know the posters?

Anyway, Rita may have had the body, but she didn’t have the right attitude to go with it. She kept issuing tickets like they were going out of fashion.

Then she met Gareth. Gareth was a cop. That changed everything. Now you wouldn’t recognize her. Rita and Gareth work together. They got the key that opens the meters and they fleece the City Council of thousands of dollars of parking money. Every day. To make up for it, Rita issues ten times the number of parking tickets.

Rita recommended to the City Council that they increase the price of parking. They did.

That’s lovely, Rita. Real lovely.

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