85. Mothers Know Everything
© Bruce Goodman 3 January 2014

Barry and Larry were identical twins. They were thirteen years old. Their mother left them at home while she went shopping for groceries. They were old enough to look after themselves.

Barry and Larry decided to have a cup of coffee. Larry accidently spilt some sugar on the bench from his teaspoon. Barry thought Larry was an uncoordinated dingbat and threw a whole teaspoon of sugar at Larry.

Larry tipped the entire sugar bowl over Barry’s head.

Barry went to the cupboard and got out the new bag of sugar and threw 1.5 kilograms at Larry.

Larry got a bag of flour and threw it at Barry. Barry threw all the coffee beans at Larry. Larry grabbed the teabags and threw them at Barry. Barry threw the bread-maker yeast at Larry.

Larry threw the left-over mashed potato that had been in the fridge. Barry threw the rice. Larry threw the ground coconut. Barry threw the couscous. Larry threw the pasta. There were only a few herbs and spices left in the cupboard after that, which was why their mother was out shopping. Then Barry found the bread crumbs.

It was so funny, but they’d better hurry and clean up before mother comes home. They swept the floor five times and hid all evidence.

Their mother arrived. She walked into the kitchen with the groceries.

The instant she trod on the kitchen floor, without even looking, she said, “There’s been a sugar fight.”

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