175. Total Darkness
© Bruce Goodman 3 April 2014
Campbell and Roy had been great friends since toddler days. They were almost next door neighbours, and their mothers would wheel them to the local park on a sunny day. They played on the seesaw together, they started school together, they got the same childhood illnesses together. Now they were fourteen.
Campbell had this brilliant idea; it was to experience total darkness. Sure, they had experienced darkness, but not TOTAL darkness. There were limestone caves in the hills at the back of town. Armed with a box of matches (and a packet of cigarettes, if you really must know), Campbell and Roy set off for the hills.
There were dozens of caves in the limestone hills. Most, at one stage or another, had been used by canoodling lovers. In fact, the area was known locally as Snogging Hill. Some said that Neanderthals had once used the caves for burials. Who would know? They probably used them for snogging as well.
Campbell and Roy entered a cave. Down they went, further and further. They could still see light. They stopped for a rest. A dull light shone through the way they had entered. They were in a small chamber. They lit a match. They lit cigarettes. They chatted away. Roy said, “Did you know you can light farts?”
They lit their farts, through their jeans. Each ignited briefly with a flash of blue light. There were screams of laughter in the cavern at each successful flare.
“There’s only one match left,” said Campbell. “We’d better keep it for a cigarette.”
They went deeper into the cave. Still the dull light shone through the way they had entered. Total darkness was not a possibility. They began to retrace their steps, following the dull light. Through another cavern. Through another gap towards the dull light, into another cavern. Always following the dull light. Forever following...
It took four days, but both succumbed eventually to total darkness.