“Thank you for reminding us all that the universe has a proclivity for diversity. We forget as we go about our business in our own little world (literally) that the entire cosmos is a seething mass of variety.”
This prompts me to tell you about the Chondoinians from Chondoinus. Of all the tens of thousands of known planets with intelligent life, the Chondoinians are the ones that most get up everyone’s nose (those who have noses). They are such braggarts. They are a long way from the centre of the Universe and hence claim “oldness and wisdom” as their greatest feature. Their water is cleaner. Their soil is more fertile. It is not just the oldest but the prettiest planet. Hardly anyone has visited; they are so far out, and the few that have been there don’t say much.
Oh but brag brag brag. Well I went there, didn’t I? Silly me. They’ve had several million years longer than many to “develop” their planet. Every mountain and hill has been flattened and bulldozed into the sea. Where oceans once were there is a crisscross of canals. The land is divided into exact even squares which are farmed with government stipulated crops. The entire planet is the same, and they are so proud of it. I couldn’t wait to leave. But I did stick a spoke in the wheel as I left. I said, “This is the most boring planet in the universe. It’s all the same.”
To which they scornfully replied: “Just give the Earth a few more years.”
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