2721. Gareth’s walk
© Bruce Goodman 11 May 2023

Gareth was forever getting first in things at high school. He got a book for getting the highest mark in his class for Chemistry. He had to walk up onto the stage at school assembly and accept the book. The only trouble was that once he hit the stage he forgot how to walk. His right arm would go forward on the same stride as his right leg. He walked like he was at the beach and his underwear was full of sand.

Everyone laughed. They thought he was putting it on; everyone that is except for the headmaster and teachers. They thought he was making fun of the Chemistry prize.

This happened every time Gareth went on stage which was quite often. In the end the teachers said that if he was going to abuse the privilege of winning they’d give the prize to someone else. Gareth had one more chance. Unfortunately the same thing happened. He forgot how to walk naturally. He thought too much how he should walk properly and it messed him up.

Anyway, why should he bother getting first in things? He had acne. He didn’t have a girlfriend like everyone else. He hadn’t learnt to drive a car like everyone else. He still rode a pushbike to school.

No one could work out why he did himself in. It was such a shame. He was so clever.

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