2720. Wedding attire
© Bruce Goodman 10 May 2023

There’s nothing worse than not knowing how one is expected to act at a very important occasion. Scarlet and Toby had been invited to a very exclusive wedding. A famous model was marrying a famous model. Scarlet and Toby were invited simply because Toby was their permanent gardener and they lived on the estate.

But what to wear? Was it to be bow tie and tails? Was Toby required to wear a waistcoat? Did Scarlet have to wear a hat? The wedding was at a very prestigious church in the city. Do ladies still wear hats to church? It wasn’t as if Scarlet and Toby mixed in such circles.

In the end they decided not to go. They wrote a lovely note saying that “Scarlet had to visit a dying great-aunt in another town.” But they watched the wedding on television. At least they watched bits of it. The bride wore black and the groom wore white. A reversal of gender wedding traditions!

And indeed everything was very formal. Anyone who was anyone (and that was everyone there) was dressed to the nines. Oh the hats! Toby and Scarlet were glad they hadn’t attended. They had gathered a few bits and pieces of attire in case they were to go. Toby donned his black tie, top hat, and cummerbund, and went out to mow the lawn. Scarlet cut the dead heads off the chrysanthemums – wearing a fascinator. Never was not going to a wedding so much fun!

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