© Bruce Goodman 6 January 2018
When Merle read in the waiting room of Hair and Nails Beauty Salon that there were nematodes invisible to the naked eye swimming in her drinking water she just about threw up. She almost painted the walls of the beauty parlour with psychedelic chunder. For years Merle had thought she had eaten meat-free and then suddenly… a revelation…
Of course, she could boil the water first, but that would be no different from boiling a leg of mutton. She’d still be swallowing boiled meat, albeit dead worms. Distilled water from the shop was no solution. The nematodes had been ruthlessly murdered so the water could be sold in all its purity. She would not be party to such dastardly actions.
Merle’s husband, when told, had no such qualms. He had eaten meat wholehearted all his life, and thought that having digestible-friendly worms in his water simply added to things.
There was only one thing for it; from now on Merle would drink nothing but Coca Cola. So much more animal friendly. So much healthier. So much cheaper than buying bottled water.