988. Kelp Help
© Bruce Goodman 24 June 2016
Merton had this brilliant idea to make lots of money; and it worked. He would go to the beach and collect a pile of seaweed, throw it in a tub of water for ten minutes, bottle the water, and sell it as expensive garden fertilizer.
Every second gardening enthusiast wanted to buy his fertilizer. Kelp Help was the brand name. The stuff didn’t make an ounce of difference of course, but Merton made heaps of money. He was able to buy a luxury house; and a car; and a racehorse.
Next he was thinking of making a booklet to sell on the internet telling people how to make easy money with snails. You can breed and market snails for eating no trouble. Just buy the booklet and find out how.
A poor person knocked on Merton’s door and asked for some food.
“Clear off,” said Merton. “I worked for my money. If you want to eat you’ve got to use your brains.”