832. Lingonberry jam
© Bruce Goodman 20 January 2016

Josephine and Milton had been married for fourteen years. Milton was starting to get cross; quite grumpy. He would come home from work irritable, and then he’d be quite short when he spoke to Josephine and they’d end up having an argument.

Josephine decided she needed to create a lovely dinner. Some new recipe. Just the two of them. Perhaps with a bottle of wine. She looked online and found the perfect thing to cook; it was simple and homely with a hint of sophistication. The recipe didn’t come in the written form; it was a video of a chef cooking. When it came to one of the ingredients, the chef mumbled. Or it could perhaps have been the chef’s strong foreign accent. Josephine decided that the mumbled words were “loganberry jam”. She bought some loganberry jam, along with the other ingredients. Then she discovered that the mumbled words were “lingonberry jam”. Too late! She had already used loganberry.

When Milton came home he seemed to be pleasant enough. Josephine was explaining to him what had happened with the recipe.

“I watched a video online,” said Josephine, “and the chef said to use leeejgkjfkjgha jam.” Josephine mumbled the word. It was part of the story.

“Use what?” said Milton.

Leeejgkjfkjgha jam,” said Josephine.

“Speak properly,” said Milton. “You’re mumbling.”

“It’s part of the story,” said Josephine. “The chef said leeejgkjfkjgha jam, and I….”

“If you’re going to mumble…” said Milton getting up and storming out.

Josephine made herself a nice cup of tea.

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