863. Ethel's vowel problem
© Bruce Goodman 20 February 2016

Ethel had a terrible vowel problem. She’d had this problem for years. Ever since she was a kid. Her vowels were a mess. Even specialists were puzzled.

She saw where in England between 1350 and 1700 there was a great vowel shift.

“That’s me!” she said. “The same is happening to me! My vowels are all over the place.”

And indeed that was the case.

It wasn’t until yesterday that Aunt Esmeralda discovered the problem. Ethel was visiting her Aunt Esmeralda and had to rush straight to the bathroom.

“It’s my vowels!” cried Ethel as she rushed past Esmeralda.

“I think,” said Aunt Esmeralda, “you have a problem with your consonants. It seems you’re inconsonant.”

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