There are a few things the reader should know. Dimitri had the foulest temper. He would fall into a rage at the drop of a hat. Dimitri inherited a dagger. It was a family heirloom going back generations. He carefully sharpened it each week. Dimitri had six children. They all annoyed him immensely…
There was Aleksey. He was on drugs, even though he denied it. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a druggy,” he said.
There was Anastasia. She was having sex with her boyfriend from the age of thirteen. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a slut”, he said.
There was Boris. He had a boyfriend but had never come out. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a faggot,” he said.
There was Ekaterina. She was a kleptomaniac. She used to steal from her father’s wallet. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a thief,” he said.
There was Igor. He was overweight and a glutton. He denied he was having midnight feasts. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a guts,” he said.
There was Milena. She was a conniving, arrogant bitch, always answering her father back, and being rude and sour to everyone. Dimitri knew it. “You’re a conniving, arrogant so-and-so,” he said.
Anyway, one day all six kids were home at the same time, just as Dimitri was sharpening the dagger. Each one of the kids did or said something that made Dimitri mad.
“Sit down!” he bellowed. “Everyone sit down!”
They sat. They knew their father’s temper and he was wielding the dagger, brandishing it excitedly.
“There are six kids and only one family heirloom,” he raged. “I don’t know which one of you should get it.”