734. The end of Temperance's bath
© Bruce Goodman 14 October 2015
Temperance (how she hated her name) bought three African violets. She was walking into the supermarket and there they were! In the florist’s in the foyer in the supermarket in the town. And they were on sale.
One was blue, one was pink, and one was white. She put them in her bathroom. There was a little shelf at the end of her bath. They looked perfect there. In fact, she almost wished visitors would ask to take a bath. Then they might see them! The toilet was separate from the bathroom. No visitor would see them at the end of the bath on their little shelf if they did a wee-wee while visiting. Still, Temperance (how she hated her name) enjoyed the African violets very much indeed, even if she was the only one to see them.
Then they stopped flowering. Just leaves. Temperance (how she hated her name) bought some African violet food. Just a brief splosh with lots of water once a week was enough. They should burst back into flower within days. Or so said the writing on the African violet food packet.
Next, she read that if you watered African violets with water in which one boiled eggs, then they couldn’t resist breaking into flower. They didn’t.
Use a contraceptive pill, said a friend. Just put a-past-use-by-date contraceptive pill in the soil and water. It will work wonders. It didn’t.
Temperance (how she hated her name) tried all these things, and still there were no flowers. No flowers! Oh no flowers!
And then, suddenly! suddenly! would you believe? suddenly! they shrivelled up and died.