© Bruce Goodman 15 November 2015
It constantly amazes me how wrongful misinformation has been perpetuated down the centuries. The Three Little Pigs’ names were Marjorie, Eleanor and Constantia. Clearly, because they were builders by profession, the sexist yesteryears couldn’t bear to think of the pigs as females. Book illustrators portrayed them in men’s clothing for eons.
There they are now, all crowded into Constantia’s brick house.
“Go away, you dirty Big Bad Wolf,” bellowed Marjorie from the upstairs window.
But who is this appearing? Why! It’s Little Red Riding Hood on a horse!
“Hands up!” shouted Little Red Riding Hood, pointing a gun at the Big Bad Wolf. Little Red Riding Hood flung back the red hood.
“He’s a boy!” snorted Eleanor excitedly. “Little Red Riding Hood’s a boy!”
“Yeah,” said Little Riding Hood, “my real name is Jason. I have no idea why they paint me as a girl.”
“Save us!’” cried the Three Little Pigs. “Shoot the Big Bad Wolf!”
Little Red Riding Hood pulled the trigger and shot the Big Bad Wolf dead.
“The Big Bad Wolf won’t be chasing you three chicks again,” said Little Red Riding Hood. “That’s the end of Celine and her fearful marauding.”