537. The wrong bunch
© Bruce Goodman 31 March 2015

Don’t get me wrong: the Scrimshaw’s were not the richest family in town but they were reasonably comfortable. They made a mistake however: they mixed with the wrong bunch.

They had purchased their new house because they liked it. They didn’t realise it was situated in the most exclusive street in town and all the neighbours were toffee-nosed snobs. Too late! It’s not that the neighbours were nasty; they were lovely. In fact, the Scrimshaw’s were invited to the neighbour’s daughter’s upper-class wedding. Anabelle Scrimshaw spent a long time selecting and purchasing an expensive dress to wear to the wedding. Things had to be done right on the street.

Then came the season of street dinner parties. Each house took turn in hosting a themed event. The Watson-Tomb’s had a Medieval theme. The Faulkner-Green’s had an Art Deco them. There was no way the Scrimshaw’s could compete. Their turn came.

Anabelle Scrimshaw decided to have a “Tasteless” theme. “We will eat fine food,” declared the invitation, “but wear something tasteless.”

What a brilliant idea! Anabelle spread old newspapers over the table instead of expensive table cloths. They ate with unmatching plastic knives and forks and drank from empty jam jars. Even the wine was poured from an old (cleaned) milk carton. It was great fun! It was a great success! Except…

Mrs Faulkner-Green wore an identical dress to the one Anabelle had worn to the wedding. How insulting. How objectionable. What a rude, tasteless snob.

The Scrimshaw's house is on the market.

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