640. Hot shopping
© Bruce Goodman 12 July 2015

It was one of those hot, hot, sticky summer days. Wade sat in his living room in front of an electric fan taking turns holding up one armpit after the other in an effort to cool off. He still had the grocery shopping to do, so eventually he bit the bullet and off he went.

Wade always kept his wallet in his trouser pocket, so he didn’t even bother to check to make sure it was there.

At the supermarket he followed his grocery list and got most things, and at least the shop was a bit cooler thanks to air conditioning. Then he thought (it wasn’t on his list but he thought it would be a good idea) he’d buy a couple of bottles of cold cordial drink or something, but he couldn’t find any that were cold. They all seemed to be in the normal shelves. So he asked a shop assistant where the cold drinks in the fridge were, and she said I thought you were going to ask me where the condoms were.

What a stupid idiot, thought Wade. I might be heading for forty and look about thirty, and am not that bad looking overall, but that proposition on a hot day came from nowhere. Quite frankly it pissed him off. So he said “Ho! Ho! Ho!” like he was Santa Claus or someone, and she eventually told him where the cold drinks were.

Then he went out through the cashier, and went to pay for all his stuff but his wallet wasn’t in his pocket.

In fact it might have been in his pocket, but he’d forgotten to put on his trousers.

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