© Bruce Goodman 4 September 2014
“Lucy in the sky with diamonds.” That, said the teacher, is a typical example of messy writing. Does Lucy have the diamonds, or are the diamonds in the sky floating about with Lucy?
“Lucy in the sky with diamonds.” The statement, said the teacher, is not only messy, it’s ridiculous. By diamonds, do you means stars in the sky? If not, is Lucy in a sky rocket or clinging to a weather balloon, wearing diamonds? You’ve written nonsense. Utter rubbish.
JOHN LENNON! said the teacher, IF I’VE TOLD YOU ONCE, I’VE TOLD YOU TWICE. SHUT UP IN CLASS! SIT DOWN! GET YOUR BOOKS OUT, AND STOP WRITING RUBBISH LIKE THIS! YOU’LL NEVER GET A JOB. YOU’LL END UP A DOLE BLUDGER.
(What the hell, thought the teacher).
LENNON! I SAID SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN!