281. Kids I
© Bruce Goodman 18 July 2014

Young Liam had a pet baby goat. It was black and white. It was already growing horns.

“What are you going to call it?” asked his parents.

“I’m going to call it Horny,” said Liam.

“Don’t you think Billy would be a better name?” suggested Mum.

“What about Gruff?” suggested Dad. “After the Billy Goats Gruff?”

“No,” said Liam. “It’s Horny.”

One can, in a story such as this, expect the inevitable to happen. It was the little rural school’s Pet Day. Everyone brought a pet. Liam brought his goat.

There wasn’t one pet that didn’t get a ribbon. Every pet was special. But it was Liam and his goat that got the supreme ribbon; and a bright blue collar.

“And what’s your goat called?” asked the headmaster into the microphone.

“My parents wanted me to call it Billy, but I call it Horny,” answered Liam.

All the Mums and Dads gave Liam and his goat a hearty joyful cheer. It was followed by the merriest of picnic lunches on the lawn. For Liam it was the jolliest lunch ever, ever, ever. Everyone, just everyone, all the Mums and Dads, loved his little goat and knew its name.

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