57. Mr and Mrs What’s-his-face
© Bruce Goodman 6 December 2013

Hilary and Wallace were made for each other. Everyone waited for the inevitable engagement announcement. But there was a problem. It was to do with names.

Hilary’s family name was Broomhead, and Wallace’s family name was Triplebottom. Both were venerable English surnames, but neither Hilary nor Wallace wanted to inflict the surname of the other on their combined children. Hilary detested the absurdity of Triplebottom, and Wallace considered Broomhead preposterous.

A mutual friend proposed a compromise: they were to each pick a random page number from the phonebook, and a random line number. These two randomly selected names would then be joined. Hilary and Wallace committed themselves to this proposition.

When the names were selected, Hilary and Wallace still couldn’t agree. This time it was to do with the order of the names. Which name came first? Another compromise was reached.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Hilary Wagglecock and Wallace Cockwaggle. Also their two children, Maya Cockwaggle and Willie Wagglecock.

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