2955. Morning assignment © Bruce Goodman 5 January 2024

It was a difficult morning for Freddie. Freddie was a professional exterminator. Not of cockroaches you silly idiot, but of people; although some might construe that they are the same thing. He had been paid by a wealthy woman (extremely wealthy) to exterminate her third husband. He was a lazy, good-for-nothing leech. He slept in late each morning and did nothing. Even the maid had to make his bed. When Asphixia (the wealthy woman) discovered that the maid also helped to unmake the bed, Asphixia had had enough. She brought in Freddie (for the third time). This was an assignment that Freddie could enjoy. Because the victim was a lazybones, Freddie would stay the night, get up early, and (after the maid had left) go into the lazy husband’s room and shoot him dead. Why the morning turned out more difficult than intended was because Freddie was in the kitchen making his first cup of coffee and was about to carry his overly full mug of coffee back to his room, when the husband appeared out of nowhere and said “What are you doing here?” Instinctively Freddie reached for his pistol and shot the husband dead. But the action meant that his other hand (which was holding the coffee) shot up in the air suddenly and hot coffee went all over the place. What a mess! Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story