Gertrude Benevolence – that’s not her real name, it’s the name she publishes her books under – wrote a lovely children’s book on unicorns. I, being a unicorn of some significance, was asked to review it. The text is fine. The story is a bit far-fetched but it is for children and I’m a firm believer in the value of Father Christmas and Tooth Fairies and the like. What would the world be like if people started saying nonsense like “We shouldn’t feed our children lies.” And they destroy all imagination and fantasy in the minds of children.
Of course I’m not suggesting that unicorns are in the same category as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Unicorns are real but there’s a few things that people have got wrong. Misinformation is repeated and before you know it everyone starts to believe it. In this Gertrude Benevolence book it’s not so much the text as the illustrations by Claudia Splosshberry. She has given unicorns wings! Wings! We’re too heavy to fly. What a travesty! What a senseless caricature! Let me state firmly: we don’t have wings.
While I’m at it, I might as well correct another misconception. We are not unicorns; we are unihorns. We have one horn slap bang growing out of our forehead. It is a horn, not a corn cob.
By all means buy this book, but be ready with scissors to cut out the offensive pictures and toss them enthusiastically into the trash.
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