2792.Don’t you know who I am? © Bruce Goodman 22 July 2023

Ross Michaels was his first and last names although some people thought his first name was Michael and last name was Ross. Others left the S off Michaels so the poor fellow had gone through life with people not have a clue who the hell he was. Such confusion over the years had provided him with a source of entertainment and the occasional free meal or drink. At a restaurant or a bar, when some stranger spoke to him, he would answer with a vehement “Don’t you know who I am?” The waiter might say, “Please pay at the counter on the way out”, and Ross would look amazed and say, “Don’t you know who I am?” Even when he attended a Writers’ Convention with lots of celebrity film stars and poets, an aspiring actress made small talk and Ross said, “Don’t you know who I am?” Oh yes! She was very sorry. Of course she knew. Only once did it ever get him a free meal at a restaurant. In fact, the chef came out personally to apologize and to offer the meal for nix. Ross Michaels always wondered who it was they thought he was. Only once did someone get the better of him. A stranger in a bar said “Hi” and Ross answered with “Don’t you know who I am?” “Of course I know who you are,” laughed the stranger, “You are my cousin. I’ve got to dash but give this to our aunt over there.” He handed a piece of paper to Ross and darted off. Puzzled, Ross went over to the “aunt” and ended up having to pay for a considerable number of strangers’ drinks. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story