2928. Meet the greats © Bruce Goodman 8 December 2023

When Freddie was diagnosed with a terminal disease he expressed hope in heavenly salvation. With only a few weeks to go, and very little pain, he awaited his final summons with both fear and great interest. His wife asked him what it was he was most looking forward to, and he said that catching up with deceased relatives and friends would be an immediate priority. “But one thing I would really like to do is meet up with famous people through the ages. Perhaps Shakespeare, and Victor Hugo and Alexander the Great and Charles Darwin and … oh! the list never ends! It will be fascinating to discover what they’re really like.” Eventually the inevitable happened: Freddie passed away. Why! Here comes Shakespeare now leading the welcoming party. “Hello my friend,” said Shakespeare. “And which one of my plays would you care to discuss?” “Well to be honest,” said Freddie, “the only one of your plays I’ve ever read was Macbeth and that was compulsory reading at high school sixty years ago. I didn’t understand a word.” “Oh, I guess you’re not ready then,” said Shakespeare, and walked off. Look! Next is Alexander the Great. “Hello my friend,” said Alexander. “And which one of my military battles would you like to hear about?” “I’m not exactly familiar with any of them,” said Freddie. “Oh, I guess you’re not ready then,” said Alexander, and walked off. This sequence was repeated again and again. Eventually Freddie realized that he’d been lazy in life and a good deal of opportunity had gone way over his head. Perhaps he might have done better if he hadn’t been such a pretentious snob and had actually sat down and done something. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story