2140. The Anti-Legume League © Bruce Goodman 29 May 2021

They were a new planet just admitted to the League of Planets. Membership was limited, naturally enough, to those planets whose scientists had discovered the Wormwarp Warpworm. It meant they could travel almost instantaneously from one planet to another. Of course, if they couldn’t travel in such a manner there was the likelihood that they wouldn’t even know other inhabited planets existed. The Ydlkgjdklws were delighted when just two years after their discovery of the Wormwarp Warpworm, they were admitted to such an exclusive League. There was just one hitch; the upper echelon of the League of Planets was the Anti-legume League. These were the planets that despised vegetables, especially green vegetables, and even more particularly, green beans. “If you see a bean, kill and devour it” was the motto of the Anti-legume League. “Eventually we will rid the Cosmos of beans.” This greatly upset the Ydlkgjdklws. They were mild meat eaters but loved their vegies. Still, the desire to be admitted to the upper echelon of the League of Planets affected them greatly. In anger they invaded Planet Earth and killed any Homo sapiens they could find. “They are motivated by rage,” declared the President of the League of Planets. “And all because they would not help destroy the beans.” “Destroy what?” asked the Ydlkgjdklws. “Beans,” said the president. “Oh,” said the Ydlkgjdklws, somewhat embarrassed. “We thought you meant us to destroy and devour the human beans.” Which just goes to show that some of these cosmic languages are next to impossible to learn. “Why can’t other languages be simple to pronounce like ours?” asked the Ydlkgjdklws. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story