2090. Pianoforte lessons, Darling © Bruce Goodman 29 March 2021

Mazie’s daughter was Mayzing. Mazie was outraged. Her friend, Tammy, was also a parent at Mayzing’s school. The Hir-Oh-No Academy of Arts was not only expensive; it was the cat’s pyjamas. Tammy’s daughter, Shammy, was studying pianoforte at the Academy. “It’s a wonderful skill to have, darling” said Tammy to Mazie. Thus it was that Mazie enrolled Mayzing in pianoforte. But what a shock! “You have no idea,” declared Mazie. “More than half the pianoforte keys were white. There are only five black notes to every seven white notes. But what does one expect when all the great composers, like Burt Bacharach and Engelbert Humperdinck, are white? I told Mayzing’s teacher that I wanted her to learn only the black notes. There must be pieces written for just the black notes. This systemic racism is all persuasive.” These days, Mayzing is confused. The only true Black notes are Blues ones. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story