Hetty Moss was a seamstress. She designed a flag for her country and sewed it together. Her country had recently gained independence from Portugal and so much had to be thought about. A flag could be considered a minor detail, but what could the people of a fledgling country rally around if they didn’t have a flag?
Hetty Moss’s flag was blue with a green diagonal stripe across the centre. The green and blue represented their little island state in the vast ocean. Quite wonderful really! People loved it. In fact, it inspired Harry Donaldson to compose words for a national anthem:
Loud cheers for the green and blue!
Green and blue! Green and blue!
Loud cheers for the green and blue!
Made for me and you.
All it needed now was some music. But back to Hetty Moss’s flag…
A group claimed that the green stripe represented the Green Party. What about the party that uses red as their colour?
Another group claimed that the blue represented the Liberal Party and it was the dominant colour on the flag. What about the party that uses yellow as their colour? Or purple?
The Federation of Arts and Crafts felt that the flag could have been greatly improved if they had been consulted in the process. “We specialize in design, and this piece of racist rubbish fluttering in the breeze will do nothing but denigrate our young nation. The whole world is laughing at us.”
A group of Portuguese immigrants, whose deepest desire was for the country to remain part of Portugal, set fire to the flag before television cameras. The protests went on and on. Hetty Moss was arrested on charges of.. of… anything. She was the first case tried in the new country. She was eventually found guilty of hedonism and put to death not simply because her flag promoted sexual deviancy, but because her great great great grandfather had once looked at another woman other than his wife.
Rest in peace Hetty Moss – although one hopes you rot in hell. Your hatred of humanity has goaded wayward youth backward and downward. Thank goodness we are getting a new flag. It has a red field charged in the canton with five golden stars. The design features one large star, with four smaller stars in a semicircle. The flag has inspired Harry Donaldson to pen a new set of words:
Loud cheers for the gold and red!
Gold and red! Gold and red!
Loud cheers for the gold and red!
Those who don’t agree, hit them on the head.
The new words don’t need a tune; everyone is already dancing to it.