1294. Offensive food
© Bruce Goodman 28 April 2018
Marcella was a pretty good cook. She planned her occasions meticulously. Not that she invited guests every day; occasions are for celebrating occasionally!
On this particular occasion, apart from her husband of course, she invited three couples; old friends in the main, although one of the couples was new to Marcella’s street. For dessert, Marcella planned to have a traditional rhubarb pie. Not the sweet-sour syrupy rhubarb pie drowning in sugar and hidden in layers of pastry, but the traditional French rhubarb pie, ever so slightly tart, that took several days to make.
But first, Marcella went online to confirm a recipe she already knew. And there it was:
WARNING: NEVER SERVE RHUBARB TO GUESTS. SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE IT, AND IT COULD BE REGARDED AS OFFENSIVE. CLICK HERE FOR OTHER OFFENSIVE FOODS THAT SHOULD NEVER BE SERVED.
Marcella surveyed the list. There was very little left to eat. Even green beans were on it. And endives, and cabbage, and mayonnaise, and onions, and… Marcella made her main meal as bland as possible to cater for all palates; and instead of traditional rhubarb pie her guests had insipid fruit salad and ice cream. Marcella hoped it would be as tasteless as possible, so as not to offend.