Today I am so excited. The publisher – MY publisher – wants a photographer to photograph me for the cover. They suggested they have me standing at a table with some of my sausage rolls on a plate. My recipes are very homely – sort of stuff your grandmother might have made – so I think something like sausage rolls is a good honest dish to be photographed with. I’ve made a big plateful.
Just in case the sausage rolls don’t work out, I’ve made six other dishes that might look good instead. It took me the whole of yesterday to make. Perhaps these other six dishes could be placed “nonchalantly” on the table with the sausage rolls although I don’t think that my bacon and egg pie is particularly photo-worthy; it’s burnt around the edges.
I’ve also thrown into the car to take my grandmother’s candle sticks, and yesterday in between cooking I dashed into town to get some candles. If they decided to use them I’m not sure what coloured candle would go with my sausage rolls. These people know better than me. So I purchased two candles each of various colours including white. Do you know how hard it is to get white candles these days? I had to go from shop to shop. They call those candles white but really they are cream. I got some of them too but I thought the purity of white might be what was wanted.
Of course the big question is what to wear. I decided to wear my pink dress that I got for Jessabelle’s wedding before it was called off, and then I had second thoughts because it might clash with the sausage rolls. So I dashed into town again and bought two frocks (“frocks” is such a horrible word – it sounds so frumpy). One frock is blue and the other pale green. And jewellery! Goodness! I’ve no idea. I’ve put all my jewellery into the car.
You’ve not a clue the work that goes into publishing a book. I’ve been flat out for two days, and I’m yet to go to the hairdresser’s. Excuse me – my phone’s going.
You what? You what?
Oh dear. Oh dear. The publisher has withdrawn the book. Apparently there’s a copyright problem with my sausage rolls.
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