3191. Scientific salvation © Bruce Goodman 30 April 2025

What a to-do! Scientists announced that a huge asteroid was going to crash into Earth next week. They didn’t have a clue what part of the world it would hit. That didn’t stop nearly everyone on Earth from moving. Millions and millions of people left their homes and went and camped out in some isolated area as if the asteroid was determined to crash into a major metropolis. Such is the logic that dominates in the face of disaster. The scientists had stated quite categorically: there was only one thing they could do. They could send up a nuclear warhead and explode the asteroid. Haste was the key, but for such a sudden thing they needed funds. Please help! Billions of dollars poured in. Trillions and trillions. The fatal day of the asteroid’s arrival dawned. It still could not be seen by the naked eye. Hysteria – screaming and wailing – was epidemic, but of course it made not a scrap of difference to the imminent arrival. Some people even died from fear. The day passed. Nothing happened. There was disbelief and confused relief throughout the world. There was no asteroid. The scientists are hoping to use the money they collected for research; for example, is it easier to teach a magpie to speak Japanese words than Spanish words, or does climate change affect what people wear? Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story