2995. Kissing frogs
© Bruce Goodman 15 February 2024


I grew up reading fairy stories about how an ordinary girl could marry a prince and become a princess. My friend Mandy and I used to joke about it. We were inseparable as kids. Once Mandy even caught a frog and kissed it. “You never know,” said Mandy, “when one of these frogs might turn into a handsome prince.” Yuk! I couldn’t even touch a frog, let alone kiss it.

When we were in our late teens we attended the same art school and although our circle of friends had widened we still spent some time doing things together. And that was when Mandy got invited out on a date by another student who just happened to be the Royal Prince of Consorbania. I hardly ever saw Mandy after that. She was too busy kissing Prince Leonard her frog.

They got engaged. They got married (apparently it was televised). Mandy did lower herself to send me a text: “Whoever would have dreamt that I’d become a princess?” Ha! Ha! The King of Consorbania made a great announcement on their wedding day. Prince Leonard’s new wife would be known as the Duchess of Plonkton. A duchess! A duchess! Not a princess? That’s because Prince Leonard wasn’t directly in line to become the King of Consorbania. Prince Leonard was just a “spare” so his wife was a mere duchess. So much for kissing frogs. That was a couple of years ago. They’re divorced now.

As for myself. Yes! I married a handsome prince. He calls me “My Princess!” Mind you he calls our four daughters Princesses as well. We’re happy. I wouldn’t trade places with the Duchess of Plonkton for all the tea in China.

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