I was in my garden deadheading the Pelargonium graveolens, and pulling out the occasional self-seeded Papaver somniferum, when I looked up and saw some sort of flying craft land in my backyard. It wasn’t at all what I thought a flying saucer should be. In fact it was more like an upright thermos flask than a saucer. After it landed four great legs appeared, no doubt to stabilize it.
A man (would you call it a “man”?) rushed towards me and said “Can I use your bathroom? Our space craft’s toilet is blocked.” Of course I said he was welcome. How shall I describe him? He was a biped but had four arms. He didn’t seem to have a nose or ears. If only I could draw!
When he reappeared he thanked me (his English was rather hesitant and a little difficult to follow) and said that it was against cosmic policy to interact with humans but an emergency is an emergency. I gave him a container of chemical drain cleaner that I keep under the kitchen sink. He was most grateful. He then reboarded the craft and took off.
To this day I have one major regret: why oh why didn’t I think to ask him some questions?
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