2779. Squawk the Cockatoo © Bruce Goodman 9 July 2023

Squawk was the name of Eugene’s pet parrot. He’d bought it in a pet shop. The pet shop owner had said that Squawk was about twenty years old, but it was nothing. “They can live a lot longer than that,” he said. Squawk was a Yellow-crested Cockatoo. The pet shop man said that male Cockatoos are extremely intelligent and fabulous talkers. He said that the previous owner said it could talk about lots of things and knew over a 100 phrases. Why then did the previous owner want to get rid of it if it was so fabulous? “The Yellow-crested Cockatoo is Australian and the previous owner has migrated to Bermuda where Australian Cockatoos are not allowed.” Eugene took the parrot home and couldn’t get it to say a single word or phrase. Not even “Pretty Polly”. It was infuriating. What a waste of money. There was a knock at the door. It was two policemen. “We’re doing door to door interviews about the dangerous serial killer operating in the area called the Cut Throat Killer.” “Cut Throat Killer! Cut Throat Killer,” screamed Squawk. “I am the Cut Throat Killer! Put your hands up or I’ll use this blade.” Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story