Come in, Officer. Come in. Take a seat. To be honest, today has been the loneliest day of my life. My wife left me – permanently she said – around 9.30 this morning. Walked out. Just like that. As far as I can ascertain she didn’t even take a change of clothes. A car – I don’t have a clue whose it was – pulled up at the curb. Iris got in and the car drove off. That is all I know.
After she had gone I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t had breakfast so I had breakfast. Of course I didn’t eat much as I wasn’t hungry, but they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so I had a couple of pieces of toast with marmalade. Actually only one had marmalade. I had honey on the second one.
I then walked down the street with her bankcard. She didn’t take it, but I wanted to check if she had used it and maybe we could find out where she had gone to. When I checked on the card all the money had been taken out. Not a dime left. Obviously she had planned to leave me. I knew the bank teller, and she told me that the money had been taken out yesterday.
Yes, Officer. I’d be happy for you to make a report for a missing person, although she left freely and I suppose it is a bit of a misnomer to call her missing. A walked-out walked-off report would be better, if you make such a thing.
Thank you for coming around Officer. May I see you to the door?
The Officer left. Thank goodness he didn’t think to look under the bed.
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