2570. The last ostrich
© Bruce Goodman 10 November 2022

This, children, is the last ostrich on the planet. They used to be a not uncommon bird in zoos and in the wild. There were even ostrich farms. But since the Long Neck Virus became prevalent it utterly decimated the ostrich population as well as the giraffes.

Yes, Nathan? “Prevalent” means they were common. Yes, I know I should use easier words if they are available. There’s no need for you to get pestiferous.

Somehow this ostrich here was impervious to the Long Neck Virus. He or she – I never know with ostriches – seemed to just carry on with life while all around it other ostriches collapsed and died.

Brian, stop hitting Sarah. You were. I saw you. You were poking her with that ostrich leg bone.

We are very lucky to have seen an ostrich alive, albeit the last in existence. It’s something you will be able to tell your own children and grandchildren about. In fact children, we will be the last people on the planet ever to have seen an ostrich alive. This after several million years of humans wandering the plains of Africa along with ostriches. Yes children! You are the last to see a living ostrich.

BANG! There! History has unfolded before you. Jeremiah, I’ve told you before when we saw the now extinct Somes Island Tufted Titmouse - don’t be greedy, take only one feather.

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