2359. An unsavoury revenge © Bruce Goodman 17 February 2022

Thingamabob (I won’t use her proper name for fear of being accused of advertising) had a lovely first name until a business company used the word as a brand of breakfast cereal. Her parents had made up the name because they liked the way it sounded. After the branding of the breakfast cereal, Thingamabob didn’t stand a chance. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry would crack a joke about breakfast cereal. All jokes were corny. Thingamabob was sad. She was only fifteen years old. It is sad to see a fifteen-year old sad. Thingamabob wrote a letter to the breakfast cereal company explaining how they had ruined her lovely name. She received a rude reply from a Ms Pamela Draper, the Company Director: “Go jump in the lake you silly girl.” Thingamabob never forgot (nor forgave) the harsh response. It just so happened, not too many years into the future, that Thingamabob was the publicity director of a large toilet paper manufacturing company. They needed a new name for a product. The jingle was catchy and accompanied by a full orchestra: When in need of toilet paper Wipe your bum with Pamela Draper. The brand became very popular. Contact Author Back to Index Next Story Previous Story