2597. Toot toot!
© Bruce Goodman 8 December 2022

When Great-Uncle Ezekiel died in his bed at home, Christian knew exactly what needed to be done immediately. Great-Uncle Ezekiel kept all his money stuffed in his mattress. It had to be rescued before Aunt Emma and Cousin Charlotte arrived.

Dragging Great-Uncle Ezekiel off the bed and onto the floor, Christian began to stuff a pillow case (slip) with every bit of paper money he could find. He ended up with two pillow cases chock-a-block with hundred dollar notes (bills).

Dashing out to his car with the pillow cases he opened the boot (trunk) and then changed his mind. Aunt Emma and Cousin Charlotte would know the money had gone missing and would accuse Christian and look in the boot of his car. Christian acted quickly. He opened the bonnet (hood) and squeezed the pillow cases in. He slammed the bonnet shut. When he left he would drive a kilometre (mile) or so, stop and rescue the money before it caught on fire.

The first thing Aunt Emma and Cousin Charlotte wanted to know when they arrived was how come Great-Uncle Ezekiel was lying on the floor.

He’d had a fit, said Christian. It was his last movement before lifelessness set in.

And what happened to the money in the mattress? questioned Aunt Emma. Christian declared that he didn’t have a clue.

What a rigmarole it was getting a doctor to certify the death, and getting the police to ascertain that there was no foul play, and getting the undertaker to cart the body away.

At last Christian was free to leave. He carefully drove a couple of kilometres, opened the bonnet, and… there was nothing there.

Here comes Aunt Emma and Cousin Charlotte along the road in their old jalopy.

“Toot! Toot!” they went as they passed. “Toot toot! Toot toot!”

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